Larry’s Leadership Moment
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One definition of pursue is “to go after” or “lean into” something, even if it’s hard. Anything that is truly valuable is worth pursuing. It is amazing to me how easily we seem to forget this principle when it comes to the people in our lives.
I have a sister and we have done life together for over 50 years. As adults, we have developed a close and meaningful relationship. We are different, and yet we share a common family bond that will never go away. Navigating sibling relationships can be tricky. There is no perfect relationship and the same is true for siblings. However, we can grow in our relationships. It takes making a choice to invest and to learn how to connect with those we care about.
It was going to be a serious and potentially difficult conversation with someone he loved. My friend Jack knew that in order for it to go well, he had to do more than simply communicate his concerns. He was a Leading Lion in the MAD (our Make A Difference personality profile) terminology, and she was a Tranquil Turtle. That’s why he decided to create a runway that would lead to a productive conversation. Jack knew that his loved one needed time to prepare and time to process when dealing with important matters. He also knew that as a Turtle, she would not respond well to emotional or aggressive language.
Reflecting on the Turtles in my life, I've come to realize that they not only possess wisdom but also create a nurturing environment of safety. It's a journey that requires us to slow down and invest the time and effort to truly connect with them. While the Turtle’s slow-and-steady pace may challenge some, the transformative results are undeniably worth the journey.
Do you know someone who has natural charisma? This person can naturally talk to anyone about anything at any time. I know a person who has those qualities. He is fun to be around and seems to have tons of friends in his life. The truth is that many mistake his natural people skills for joy or fulfillment. They think that his extrovert personality equals always being happy and on top of the world. He is misunderstood. Once he became aware of a few things about himself, he was able to communicate with others on a deeper level.
We were walking at my favorite place in the world, the beach. Specifically, the beach in Gulf Shores, Alabama. Lately, the shorelines are filled with seashells. They arrive in all shapes, sizes, and colors. As we were walking, my wife, Melanie, said, “They all have one thing in common… they are broken”.
I know a couple who have very different perspectives. She is a detail-oriented Camel, and he is a big-picture Lion who is not detailed in the least. They struggled to communicate and to hear what the other was truly trying to say. Things changed when they learned to speak each other’s personality language. The husband said that learning how to communicate with his camel wife was truly a game changer for their relationship. Here are 3 things to remember when communicating with a Competent Camel:
A leader was trying to communicate with a colleague who has a Lion personality. The Lion made many assumptions, dominated the conversation, and totally did not hear what the other person was trying to say. This resulted in frustration and damaged their working relationship. It is important to understand how to communicate with Lions. Here are a few things to remember when engaging with a Lion:
I love this time of year. It’s the month that some call “March Madness”. While I’m pumped about this season of basketball, I am more excited about our own “MADness”. For us, MAD stands for Make A Difference, and we use it to refer to our personality assessment that has been taken by over a million individuals in the last 25 years. For us, that statistic is exciting not because of the number of times our profile has been used, but because of the number of people and relationships that have been impacted and strengthened as a result.
I have observed thousands of relationships and have definitive proof that all successful relationships take work. Those who allow their lives and interactions with others to become stale and stagnant will eventually fail at being fulfilled in their relationships and ultimately, in their life. The problem is that many simply do not understand how to do the work of building and sustaining healthy relationships. Maybe the desire is there, but investing in the wrong things leads us in the wrong direction when it comes to connecting with others.